I never try to find you...

I've been away. Physically, mentally, metaphorically...but I feel like I'm back now with the completion of this. Creativity comes with it's own set of Faustian terms and conditions. It drags you out to sea sometimes. Or leaves you on the shore when you wanted to get in the boat.

This is part one of two commissioned drawings and the only instruction for this one was to contain two skulls and have ravens involved somewhere. When I draw for other people I see it as a shared idea and what they had in mind when they asked for it is probably definitely very different to what I had in mind...but if you aren't specific, you get something from the recesses of my brain and this idea was already half formed, I was just waiting for the remnants to catch up. I like to weave a bit of a narrative, so it's anthropomorphic skeletons caught between life and death, with a floral vibe. I can't put it any simpler than that...

None of us can tell...

I'm not a witch or a hippy, I don't believe that quartz can save your soul (I don't believe in souls for that matter) nor do I think that Martians built the pyramids in thirty seconds, but the tiny illustrations on a tarot deck have enchanted me since childhood. I haven't a clue what they're meant to tell you about life (I'm guessing bugger all) I just enjoy looking at the pictures. I suppose The Hermit resonates with me (metaphorically of course), I'm no socialite, I spend hours by myself scribbling away at black skies and if I was small enough to put a shell on my head I probably would...I think that bit is optional advice in the fortune tent. If I had a quieter mind, I might be inclined to illustrate the full set but I'll say with some certainty...unlikely.  

The Hermit, 2017, ballpoint pen on paper

To be cut adrift...

Every now and again I lose myself (not in a good way) and need something to bring me back into the solar system. Drawing nature usually sets me right so this sketchy little envelope woodpecker let me know I've still got something. And I really threw caution to the wind and got the red biro out...

Once I was in a position to re-enter the atmosphere of the ballpoint pen, I took this little tattoo request as well. It was to be inspired by The Killing Moon by Echo and the Bunnymen and needed to include a boat and a lyric. The rest was up to me.

I've always understood it as a song about death and our inexorable (and fast) journey towards it (did I say I was back in a good mood?) so we decided on the reaper in his boat. If he's got one. Has he? Since he's open to interpretation and not real and art is subjective I'm saying yes, he does. 

I liked the idea of repeating the moon so the scythe and boat both became crescents, which all fit neatly into the shape of the moon in the background. Neat doesn't come naturally to me but a plan came together on this occasion... 

Here's the original little sketch I did to throw the ideas out, for once I didn't deviate too far from the original but that's neither a good or a bad thing, just a fact. Apologies for the scrappy, ripped off Instagram pictures but the scanner is also orbiting it's own uninhabitable zone somewhere. I just wanted to talk about drawing for a bit... 

Like empty shells...

It often only occurs to me after a drawing is finished where the idea might have come from. I've probably said it before many times but it's subconscious, I find it very difficult to come up with something when I think "I'd like to include x/y/z in a drawing," but let my mind roam around and things appear. This, I now see, has some science fiction elements (no shit, it's a shell the size of a tower block!); Ray Bradbury's earpiece shells from Farenheit 451, Arthur C Clarke's imposing monoliths...none of this is intentional but it creeps in and curls up by my feet and I hear it breathing softly in the background, or is that just the snoring pug? 

I promised myself I would finish this before the year was out and for once I set a goal and stuck to it, long may that continue. It was a polishing up of an old idea and I can lay it to rest now, though I don't think it'll truly be the end; I like the uncanny feeling of unnatural scale. I'm looking forward to the stillness of January and the chance to rifle through my notes and scribbles for the next old/new thing. 

Happy New Year. 

Flying too close to the Moon...

A while back I drew the Minotaur, hesitating over the agonising decision of whether to make a break for freedom or stay a prisoner of the only home he'd ever known...a sort of mythological Stockholm syndrome. So here's another subversion of the original myth. I had the idea of drawing Icarus and I was going to keep it simple but then as my over active imagination assumed control, Icarus became a woman...then the Sun became the Moon (of course)...then obviously nothing but the infinite blackness of space would do for a backdrop. I could never be accused of cutting corners, that's at least (I stopped counting) six layers of crosshatched and scribbled black ballpoint, the fine kind not even medium! Why do I put myself through it? 

The Moon proved quite troublesome too but I ended up experimenting at the eleventh hour with pigment marker blender over the biro which turned out quite nicely, just smoothed some of the harshness. The image above is a black and white version, below is how the drawing actually looks in real life. The blender turned the biro a bit blue, which I do like but I think the whole drawing would need to be a bit blue too. Another experiment for another time...

Under a blue moon...

Last night was a blue moon, which despite a day of pretty grim weather, I managed to catch a glimpse of later in the evening. One thought led to another and before I know it, I'm making pictures of the moon again. This is a response to the previous drawing in a way, almost a dialogue with myself about day and night which is echoed in the technique. Here, I was removing lines rather than adding them, drawing out the image with masking fluid then peeling it away once the ink was added. Just a little experiment, but I like the immediacy of this style. Apart from waiting for the mask and ink to dry, producing this had a nice energy about it and some mesmerising patterns swirling in the ink and water. 

To me this feels like you're lying on the ground looking up through the branches, completely unintentional but that's the great thing about experimentation: the discovery of something unexpected. 

Masking fluid on application...spooky...

...and after it dried...

And check out the name of the ink! I'd never noticed that before...

The dream again nobody understands...

This was intended as a sketch to plan out an idea, but I probably won't bother drawing it properly now, it kind of got on my nerves once I got started. I do quite like the neon exit sign though - I really thought I was on to something when I came up with that...

It was inspired by a recurring dream I started having about a year ago, although this image isn't so true to dream life..In the dream I'm in a building where every room looks identical and I can't find my way out. I come to a space where a Minotaur (of sorts) is standing behind a counter or service hatch and I tell him I can't find my way. He says nothing but points to a door and when I open it I'm outside. Then I wake up. My Minotaur isn't really like the one in the dream, whom I suspect may just be a bloke in a mask. The life of a skint artist, even my dreams are low budget. 

I saw it written and I saw it say...

Two strange things just happened: The first: I'd forgotten how to use my scanner! And the second: I felt nervous about posting again. This is just a little sketch to help me get back into things (again...), although it started life as part of a larger drawing that I lost interest in part way through. But, as is often the case, I kind of still liked my little cosmonaut chilling against a Moon rock. It seemed a shame to just ditch her so I decided to post her as she is, unfinished lunar surface and all. Her pressure suit is coloured with orange ballpoint and I also like how it looks faded and dusty, like she's been waiting here for a long time...Apologies for the scrappiness, I'll try harder next time, which will be soon (I promise). 

Because it's you that sets the test...

Some people certainly know how to set a challenge. A request which has evolved into this hybrid creature sprouting tree antlers and cradling the pale moon (which has proved to be a bit too pale and delicate to survive the scanning process, grrr). I've been told that February's full moon is known as a snow moon because it brings cold weather with it and lights up the snow. That thought must have crept in and germinated while this drawing was in progress, although it doesn't take much for me to crowbar the moon into a drawing (or conversation for that matter).

This drawing was meant to capture the essence of a challenge or demand for respect but I feel like I'm being given an almost accusatory stare by that dead but alive eye...I love how even though I make this stuff, it never truly feels like it's come from me...

I think I'll let you decide...

The idea for this strange little ballpoint drawing came to me when I read a line about a derelict building that "loomed like a giant ribcage" in this book. But I'm not going to discuss that here, let's move on. 

It came and went and then returned again the other day when I found a little sketch I must have made at the time. I wanted to capture the sort of feeling you get when you're amongst the sculptures of Antony Gormley. Beautiful but eerie at the same time. Did it just move? Has it got closer while my back was turned? Is it dead or alive? Organic or man-made? I've purposely left it a bit sketchy and scratchy looking, I didn't want to overwork it, I just needed to get it out of my mind and onto paper. I could have done a lot more with it really but I think the emptiness kind of works. For once I stopped at the right time...

Oh heaven knows we'll soon be dust....

I don't want to give too much away about this because it's not really my thing to share, I'm just the illustrator. So in the spirit of science and rational thinking, I'll just stick to the facts: This little skeleton ballerina is part of the dotty Moon drawing I did a few weeks ago. I had to put a bit of distance between me and that Moon, this happens quite a lot but it helps me to think about how to proceed. The end product is absolutely nothing like the original request. The idea was very specific and put me in mind of the art of Roger Dean, whose style is very surreal and sci-fi and one I would only be able to emulate poorly I think (plus, I don't paint, too much cleaning up). 

As I'm still at the stage of putting things out there quickly before I have chance to censor myself, I'm showing this bit off (because I like it) and I promise the full drawing will be coming soon to a screen near you... 

If I could have it back, I'd only waste it again...

I've spent a disproportionate amount of Earth hours doodling away at this and it still doesn't quite feel done...It's really hard to know when to stop. I miss a drawing when it's finished, it's a tiny bit of me gone forever. Then I forget it exists and start the next one. The circle of creative life.

This is my interpretation of the far side of the Moon, first seen by human eyeballs in 1968 by Apollo 8 astronauts Frank Borman, James Lovell and William Anders. My name is not amongst those who've seen the dark side so I had to make do with the Apollo photo archives. But since I'm an energy conservationist (lazy), most of the cratering is from imagination. A bit of creative license goes a long way..all the way to the Moon in my case. 

PS - apologies for the weird text alignment, formatting is having none of it today. 

A Moon age daydream...

Tonight's moon is known as a Hunters Moon which is the full moon that comes after the Harvest Moon (and that's a lot of moons in one sentence..) It won't be quite as exciting as the supermoon total eclipse we got last month (if you didn't get up at 2am to catch that, what were you playing at?) which gave us a deep, burnt, blood-red moon that looked to me, as it neared totality, as though there were flames licking up the sides trying to catch it on fire. Just stunning! But it's drawings (not moon related digression) that we're here for, so without further ado...

Sticking with the white on black theme, here's something I've been working on this week. Our beautiful Moon drawn in millions of tiny white dots. This is actually part of a bigger drawing so more will be revealed. Stay tuned. Do not adjust your set.